IT'S DECEMBER!!! and our tradition is to draw names between the five of us kids. guess who i got?!? let's play a guessing game. Clue #1--it's not me ;)
Christmas is on it's way! I really can't believe it. I seems like only a few months ago that I was here again. As i looked thru my journal from last year, I was reading about how the story of Mary really effected me last year. It's such a glorified position; the mother of the savior. And yet, Mary was probably not any older than me (in fact she was probably younger) and she didn't have great living conditions. And to surrender to the plans that God had for her, meant that she became an outcast among her friends. Among the things and people and places that were her home, her security, her life. We can easily see the whole story; how if she submitted, she would play a major role in the redemption of the world. That everything would work out. That she would marry Joseph. No, I really don't think that she could see where this was going. She probably saw her life flash before her eyes! I mean, this random angel appearing is was like, "yo! Mary! God wants you for his plans. you've been chosen by god to become the mother of his son!"
"Ah....you know what the penalty for this is?!?!?! death by stoning!! I have no husband to provide for me! And if i become the mother of a son that i say is God's son, people are gonna think I'm crazy, and no man will have me as his wife!...sounds like a plan! I'm in! I'll do it!"
I mean, the nerve of this young lady! She completely shook the status quo! God didn't drag her kicking and screaming into his plans, he gave her the choice, and she said "yes."that's it. and then she just had to trust. God knew how it was gonna turn out. but did she know? I doubt it. I bet it was really difficult. but she stood but against it because she knew this was her calling. it was something God asked her to do. And she knew that all she had to do was trust. that was it. trust. and she was blessed. she held the savior of the world as a baby! And the plan that God laid out upon her life included pain, physical but also mental pain. she watched her baby die on a tree. but she still followed. she still trusted. and she knew what was at risk when she said yes. but she did.
It just amazes me. The stakes were high. The battle was hard. The dark was so black. The condemnation was pressing. and yet she dared to follow the plan, she dared to just say "yes."
We don't have to see, to trust. We don't have to understand, to trust. We don't have to hear, to trust. We don't have to feel, to trust. We don't have to control it, to trust. We don't have to "work it all out", to trust. We don't have to fully believe that it will work out, to trust. We don't have to see the end, to trust. But we have to trust. Trust. Believe that God will work it out. Hope for the best. Dare to dream big. Dare to go against the norm. Dare to go against the flow. Dare to shake things up. Trust. Doing what's our calling is blindly, and when it doesn't feel good, and when it hurts, and persevering, and not understanding, and being in the pitch black, and NOT KNOWING. that's not our job. it's not my job. and my job isn't dependent on that. my job is to trust that God will work all things out for my good. and to press on toward the goal. and to believe that there is something way bigger than me, way bigger that i can dream for, planned for me. Just Trust.
"Forget the fear, it's just a crutch. that tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust. all you have to do is just....TRUST." [fireflight]
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