IT's COMING!!!!

oh boy! oh boy! i just love Christmastime!! It really hasn't felt very much like Christmas, but i still love this time of year!

The final clue is this...this person holds a place in my heart that no one else every will be able to hold. I am blessed watching him/her mature into the person God has created them to be!

Yesterday...oh boy. Well, it wasn't that great. I mean the morning really was. Church, I sung Breath of Heaven...but the afternoon, it was just a really big test! and I'd like to say i passed with flying colors, but i passed by going to sleep. and letting it all go. and i feel better now. Friends and family keep me grounded! I could tell you song after song after song, of reminders to me from dear friends. Here are some lyrics:

"There are times when you feel that you can't go on.
There are times when you feel like giving in.
There are times when you feel like you can't try anymore.
There are times of trouble in believing

This test of faith will last, as long as it takes to pass.
Till you have no more doubt you'll endure
And your faith will emerge true and pure

No doubt it will all work out..." No Doubt by Petra

"the light at the end has faded away
one terror after another
somewhere in the fire
the embers of faith
will burn through tomorrow
you’re breathing

it’s worth the pain
God’s in the rain
it’s not too late to start again
it’s worth the pain
so hold on tonight

your passionate eyes try to explain
all the blindness you’re feeling
the six feet of lies exposed in His fire
resurrecting your sunrise
you’re breathing

there’s grace
when you’re at your wit’s end
begging for it
He’ll take you by the hand
there’s grace" Worth the Pain by Disciple

And there are so many other songs that people have shared, or that God has had me listen to...too many to count. But this is what's that the bottom of all of them.

There is pain. There is gonna be pain. Pain doesn't mean you're doing something wrong; in fact, you're probably doing something right. At least you haven't closed your heart. You can still feel--even if it's pain. And God is faithful. Always faithful. And I've come back to that again and again. Abba is a faithful God. There will be an end. I promise. I've been there. I am there. but it will end. it always does. Keep pressing on. Keep feeling. Keep living.

I had a really bad day last week, and was venting to God as i ran. And i came to this deep fear that I didn't think i had. A fear so deep down and hidden i wanted to disown it as soon as it surfaced. but this is what i said to God.
"Abba! you've been faithful over and over. and i know you've picked me up again and again. And i know that you've always been with me. but when is this gonna run out?? when are you gonna get sick of picking me up again and again?? When is it gonna be the last time? the time you get so fed up with me acting so selfish?"

"Oh my child. I never will get "fed up" with you. I'm never gonna leave you. I'm never gonna just let you stay on the ground. i promise you this: I am always gonna be here for you. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. I will be here."

Remain Strong my friends. :)