Spring has always been one of my favorite seasons. The blooming flowers, budding trees, gentle rain, sunshine, and warm breeze--all of it fills me with hope and inspiration. It invigorates me. It breaths renewed life and a sense of expectancy into my heart. It reawakens a part of my heart that seems to rest during the long, cold winter months.
But this spring= aroused itself and found me with crying eyes, and a heavy heart. It burst forth, ready to renew the world, only to stumble upon me, with my world...broken. It awakened to my grief, mourning and heart-ache for the death of an honored and admired friend. To the deep hurt and pain for his little boys, his wife, his mom and dad, his sister, his brother and his friends.
It awakened to me broken.
Instead of the joy that usually comes as I breath in the spring air, I didn't seem to smell at all. My eyes seemed to not see the world vividly, my ears didn't hear the birds, my heart didn't find hope. Everything seemed covered in greyness; blanketed by sorrow.
After sometime, a deep part of me began to rise up; it began to remind me of the faithfulness of God, to remind me of the promises that had been made. To remind me that the sun would shine again, the hope would come again, the joy would spring forth again. And, my heavy heart was beckoned into a place of rest, like a child caught up in their mother's arms at the end of a long day of running around. The promise wasn't that I would not grieve, it was simply that there were arms to hold me. But even so, the world didn't seem to have the beauty it once held.
...And then, just like that, standing in the middle of the rain, my eyes opened, and my heart gasped. Before me was a world stunningly beautiful. Absolutely vivid.
A world that blended color so perfectly, a world that hoped, and a world that held the hope of restoration...even among the ruins.
A like a small whisper, it came.
"Everything breaks to live. The wholeness and life flows from the once broken place. The very season that brings you so much hope, is full of brokenness."
That cannot be. I try my best to prevent breaking. I watch my step so that I don't trip. I keep promises so I don't break trust. I guard my heart and hold high standards so I don't suffer heartbreak. Yes, I grasp at any control that makes me feel like I can prevent breaking. Spring holds the hope of healing...right?
"Everything breaks to live..." The words repeated back to me. Yes, maybe spring held the hope of healing, but was it truly full of brokenness?
For a flower to bloom, a bud must break.
For a bird to spread it's wings and fly, and sing, an egg must break.
For a gentle warm rain to fall, the clouds must break.
For the sun to shine and the wind to blow, the overcast sky must break.
For a caterpillar to become a beautiful butterfly, the cocoon must break.
For springs to flow forth and streams to flow, the ground must break.
Spring, so full of hope and life, is full of broken things; things that broke to live.
One was broken by the world, for the world. His side was pierced, broken, until blood and water flowed from His side. His skin was ripped and broken by a whip in the hands of men that hated him. His brow was broken by a crown of thorns.
His very life, broken, for the world.
So that, from his death, He would live eternally, giving hope and that same life to the world. Yes, the world that hated him; A world separated from His father's love.
Why?
Because He loves them.
So, even spring is testifying of the resurrection power for Christ.
Still, my heart breaks. It's still broken for the pain of those who are hurting, mourning and grieving. It's humbled by the love that Joel. And because of that, it's found a deeper love. Now it's also broken for the world; for the people so far from the plans of God, yet so loved by Him. And it is broken at the mercy, grace and passionate love He has for them. It breaks because they desperately need the hope I've found; They desperately need salvation.
It breaks with LOVE.
Yes, even for those who hate, even for those who kill.
Broken. Broken. Broken.
For from brokenness flows hope, love, restoration, redemption and...Life.
